


Nightmares & Brownies

by withaflashoflove



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withaflashoflove/pseuds/withaflashoflove
Summary: Barry wakes up to an empty bed early on a Monday morning.





	Nightmares & Brownies

He tentatively reaches over to his right side at first, hoping that the warm skin of his girlfriend will come into contact with the pads of his fingertips. Instead, he feels an empty mattress.

Barry turns frantically, the nightmare he just awoke from leaving him breathless and sweaty. When he can't find Iris on the bed next to him, it sets him into a frenzy.

 _Could something have happened? Was he asleep too long? Was she taken?_ Quickly, he jolts out of bed and looks around the room. When he can't find her anywhere, he makes his way to the rest of the upstairs unit, circling it twice - bedroom, other bedroom, bathroom, office - before giving up and rushing down the stairs.

"Iris!" He calls hurriedly, desperately, as he speeds his way down the stairs. As it turns out, he doesn't have to go much further than the bottom of the steps, because there she is, standing next to the kitchen counter, wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts that's far too big on her, the fabric trailing down to the middle of her thighs, a bowl in front of her, an audiobook sounding in the background. 

She looks up at him, startled. "Hi, baby."

"Why..." Barry throws up his arms in despair before rushing over to her. 

He pulls her in for a tight hug. Her confusion is apparent in the first few seconds, but soon after, he feels her relax in his arms, as she presses her cheek into his chest and tucks her head safely beneath his chin. 

Barry holds her snuggly, not minding the minutes as they pass by, not minding the exhaustion of being awake at 5 a.m, not minding the automated voice he hears from Iris's iPad, retelling a story which he didn't recognize. It must have been a new book, one she would read before recommending it to him. _If it's good, I'll let you know_ , she would say, with a smile, the avid reader in her finishing books left and right, before he'd ever managed to keep track of which stories she was losing herself in. When it came to reading, no matter what superhuman speed he had, she was always a little faster.

Iris's arms traveling up and down his back bring him back to the reality of the now. Together, they are wrapped up in each other in the dimly lit haven of their kitchen. He stretches his hand behind her to pause the book playing. She pulls away, ever so slowly, and brings her eyes to meet his. 

"You okay, Bear?" She asks, concerned. 

"Yeah, yeah." He quickly reassures her and presses his lips to her forehead. "Just woke up and didn't find you."

"Couldn't sleep," she says, sheepishly. 

Barry finally takes the time to acknowledge what's in the bowl on the counter: brownie batter. Because of course, only his fiancé would think to bake her favorite dessert in the early quiet of the morning, when she couldn't sleep. 

"Were you planning on eating it all without telling me?"

"No!" She feigns offense. "It happened once before, okay!"

" _After_ we got engaged," Barry chuckles, "it's happened _at least_ three times since we've been together and" - he laughs even harder, the memories rushing back to him - "god I can't even remember how many times it happened when we were younger."

Iris swats him on the arm, gently. "You've made your point. But I was making these so we could eat them for breakfast with coffee."

"Why at 5 a.m?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "Just couldn't sleep."

He leans down and captures her lips in a soft peck. "Usually when that happens, you use me as a pillow and nuzzle into my side."

She grins, leaning up to kiss him again. The taste of her lips is a little sweet, probably her sampling the batter, the cocoa still heavy on her tongue as she slips it inside his mouth. "I was craving brownies. Couldn't resist."

Another few moments pass by, now in the quiet of their loft, the only sound coming from their respective breathing. Iris does nuzzle into his neck this time, her nose and lips taking refuge in a tender spot, all too familiar for him. Her hands play with the strands on the nape of his neck. She preoccupies herself with his neck a lot, so much so that he's curious to ask her if it was her favorite thing about him. He'll do that someday, maybe for the next time they had a moment so intimate and unbreakable. 

"Wanna tell me why you're awake?" Iris asks, the vibrations tickling him just a little. 

He sighs into her hair. 

Iris begins to pull away, but the hands resting firmly on her back stop her from getting far. Instead, he holds her closer, so close that a paper was far too thick to slide between them. "I love you." Barry whispers into her hair, saying it with all the sincerity he could muster, despite his shaking nerves and restless thoughts. _I can't lose you_ seemed too definite. _I don't know what to do without you_ seemed too selfish. I _love you_ stayed harmless...but powerful. _I love you_ was for now, for ever, for always, was sure to make her feel happy in this moment than weary of a future to come. So he says it again, "I love you, Iris," a little louder now, a little more vibrant, and places a kiss to her head to end the sentence. 

He feels her smile into his neck. 

This time, he lets her pull away. 

She has one eyebrow raised and a small, teasing smile drawn when he sees her face. 

"'s that why you woke up? To tell me you love me?"

He nods his head, returning a playful smile of his own. "Usually, it's a lot easier to do when you're in bed next to me. You just _had_ to make me run down to find you this time."

Iris rolls her eyes, a newfound happiness in them. "What will it take for you to let it go?"

"Hmmmm," Barry contemplates. Then, without warning, he dips his finger into the bowl and brings it to his mouth, savoring the rich taste of the mix. "I get to lick the batter off the spoon," he says, making sure to emphasize the _pop_ as his finger left his mouth. 

Iris always licked the spoon. Sometimes, she'd lick the entire bowl as well, something that he's lectured her about every single time he's caught her doing it. It surely wasn't good for her metabolism, especially the raw eggs that would make their way inside her body. But she was stubborn and persistent, saying this was the one thing she would indulge in forever, health he dammed. 

"We'll share," she responds to the proposition. 

"Share?" 

"You can help me spread the batter. I spread with one spoon, you with the other. So we both do it."

Always so practical, his fiancé was. He leans down to kiss her again, and she seems to respond even more warmly than she had before to it. Barry suspects it's because of the sugary batter on his lips, knowing how much she loves her sweets. 

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

The grin she had on before slightly falls. Iris pulls back from him and walks over to the oven. 

He watches as she clears the trays from inside it and pulls out one that was the size she was aiming for. She comes back, tray in hand, and sets it on the counter. 

"Just, you know," she says, beginning to pour the batter into the tray, "lot on my mind."

"Like what?" 

She shakes her head. "Dad's getting honored this week. I'm coordinating with City Hall. I have to write the speech still. I promised Wally to be his date for the Engineering Convention. He really wants to get an internship with them, so I'm trying to edit his personal statement - "

Iris scrapes the remaining batter from the bowl and hands the spoon over to Barry. He takes it, making sure to brush his fingers against hers when doing so. 

"-  and CCPN stuff. Scott's having me cover a story about metas that I really don't wanna do, but I'm the" - she signals air quotes, the sarcasm infusing into them - " _leading expert_ or whatever, so I have to do it."

"Why don't you wanna do it?"

Iris sets the bowl on the counter. She glances up at Barry.

He sees her mind racing, the thoughts forming one after the other, and he thinks maybe both their brains just need  _rest_ for a little while. But instead of answering, Iris walks back over to the drawer to get another spoon and comes back over to him.

"Start spreading," she hums, the playfulness back in her voice.

So he does, because she asked him to and because no matter how much he wants to know, no matter how much he wants to ease her worries, he doesn't want to push. Maybe another part of that is because he knows the answer, but doesn't want to hear it yet, because it's the same answer he has, both of them always speaking the same language without ever having to verbalize it.

He makes sure to smoothly spread the entire left side as he watches his fiancé spread the right side. Together, they work, focused and a little teasing, their spoons  _unintentionally_ bumping into each other every now and then, till the tray looks perfect.

"That's yours," she says, pointing to the spoon in his hand. Her own spoon finds its way to the tip of her tongue and Barry laughs at the antics of savoring the flavor.

"You act like you've never tasted brownie batter before," he grins, licking his own spoon.

"Mmm," she hums, "each time is different. Gotta take it all in."

When they're done with their spoons, Barry grabs both of them and washes them. Iris scurries around the kitchen, first putting the tray into the oven and setting the timer, then placing all the used utensils and tools into the sink. He gladly takes them from her, washing them at human speed, enjoying the slow of the morning with her.

After the kitchen looks spotless and the brownies are nicely baking, he pulls her over to the couch.

He sits first, already anticipating that she'd want to sit on his lap, because she likes doing that, and he likeswhen she does it as well.

As soon as he's comfortable, he pulls her into his lap, and her legs curl into his side as her arms loop around his neck again, her head lying softly on his chest.

He rubs gently along the outside of her thigh, one hand drawing patterns there, the other resting lightly on her waist.

"Someone's falling asleep," Barry whispers when he feels her go still.

She lets out a slow exhale. "You're warm."

"Brownies will be warm too, when they're ready."

"True..."

A content silence passes by.

"Why don't you wanna cover the story about the metas?" Barry asks, deciding now is the time to bring it up again.

"Why were you so scared when you sped down the stairs?" she counters. And _yup_ , she knows and this is a discussion both of them seem to be avoiding.

"I asked first." Barry tries to bring back the humor, but it falls flat. They'd both been so good at keeping the optimism up, both working as a team to comfort each other, both unified that they would defeat Savitar. But some moments, especially with the nearing deadline, it seemed impossible to be.

"Same as your answer," Iris says knowingly.

"Hey..." He travels his fingers to below her chin and gently tugs it upwards, until she's looking at him. The playfulness of earlier is replaced by a sort of somberness and he almost regrets bringing it up again, not wanting to see her sad even in the slightest.

She shakes her head. "'s okay." And she says it a lot,  _it's okay_ , but Barry stopped being able to decipher whether it's for her sake or for his, whether that phrase had any meaning at all.

"It's not. I'm sorr-"

"No," Iris stops him. "This is not your fault, we've talked about it, Bear. It just is what it is."

"I can't imagine..." Barry takes a deep breath. "I can't imagine not doing this with you every morning. Not waking up with you and cuddling with you and kissing you."

She frowns. "Me neither."

Maybe it's some sort of defiance on her part, but Iris leans up and presses their lips together, her kiss hungry and hard, the softness between them lost, as she nips at his bottom lip and pulls the hair on the back of his head.

He has to break it off, something inside him preventing him from taking it further. Maybe it's because everything's a little too raw right now, maybe he just doesn't want to break the tender intimacy. Whatever the reason, Barry pulls away and buries his head in her neck, mimicking her actions from before.

She holds him tight, doing the same, and they stay wrapped in each other for minutes more. Eventually, the smell of almost-ready brownies fills the apartment and it causes him to crave coffee as well, Iris's habits rubbing off on him more and more with each passing day.

"We're here now," Barry says, pulling away.

She nods her head. "Yeah."

He smiles. "And we'll eat brownies and drink coffee at 5:30 a.m."

"Yes we will," she laughs.

"And you'll let me make the coffee while you cut the brownies."

"Okay."

"And you'll cut mine into a heart and I'll draw a heart in foam in your coffee."

She leans up to kiss him. 

"And we'll take this week day by day."

Another kiss.

"And you'll have me right by your side through it all, like you'll be by my side through it all."

"And we'll do it together," Iris finishes off his train of thought. "Because that's just what we do."

"Yeahhh."

"Yeah," she smiles.  _Yeah_ _, it would be okay._


End file.
